From insights into the increasing trend of grey divorce to the latest buzz around Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai, let’s navigate the complexities of marriage and separation in both everyday life and the spotlight. Let’s uncover the truth behind rumours and societal shifts to this trend.
What is Grey Divorce?
The term grey divorce describes the mutual separation of marriages among older adults in the late 50s and beyond. While divorce rates among younger couples have stabilized or even declined in some regions, the rate of grey divorce has increased over the past few decades. As per the National Centre for Family & Marriage Research, in countries like the United States, the grey divorce rate has more than doubled since the 1990s.
It could be said that this trend is not confined to any one country. Nations across Asia, Europe and parts of Africa are witnessing similar patterns. The rise in grey divorces is attributed to some sort of factors that contribute to why older couples are choosing to part ways after years of togetherness.
Factors that contribute to the rise of grey divorce
Increased life expectancy: One of the prominent factors that contribute to this trend is increasing life expectancy rates. As couples live longer together, many find themselves reassessing their relationships in their later lives, with potentially decades of life ahead; some individuals choose to pursue personal happiness and fulfilment outside their long-term marriages.
Changing social norms: Societal attitudes towards divorce have evolved in certain ways. If we look at the past, there was a stronger social stigma attached to divorce, specifically among older adults. But as divorce has become more normalized, older generations feel empowered to end marriages in the form of grey divorce due to no longer having satisfaction.
Financial independence: Women’s financial independence has grown over the decades, and it contribute to the rise of grey divorce. Many women who stayed in marriages because of financial dependency now have the means or feel a sense of power to support themselves. Being financially independent gives them the power to leave unhappy marriages.
Empty nest syndrome: There are couples that experience the departure of children from the home, which brings underlying marital issues to the surface. The focus that was once on raising children shifts to the relationships this trend, and for some, this reveals a lack of connection or shared interests to continue the relationship. This results in grey divorces.
Second marriages: Statistically, there are couples who opt for a remarriage in the form of a second chance at happiness. But the data tells a different story. As per the available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages is nearly 60 per cent higher in comparison to first marriages, 50 per cent in the United States. The datasets underlined that second marriages have a higher chance of ending in divorce than the first. Grey divorces occur in second and subsequent marriages. The reason behind this is the complications of blended families and unresolved complexities from previous marriages lead to marital discord.
Personal development and self-discovery: As people age, they ponder evolution and change. With age, couples think about personal growth, parting ways with their spouse, which reflects a sense of personal growth, experiencing new things, and living a new lifestyle.
The Impact of Grey Divorce
The implications of the trend of grey divorce are far-reaching, as it affects the individuals involved as well as their families or society at large.
Financial consequences: Getting a divorce at any age can have a significant impact on older adults. Splitting assets, retirement funds and other financial resources leads to a reduced standard of living for both parties. For those who are close to retirement, this creates problems, as there is less time to recover financially.
Emotional and mental health: It is quite known that the emotional toll of divorce is profound at any age, but for older couples deciding to part ways, it is even more challenging for them. The sense of loss, loneliness, and anxiety about the future becomes overwhelming.
Family dynamics: Grey divorce also disrupts family dynamics, specifically when children are involved. Adult children most often struggle with their parent’s divorce, and it leads to strained relationships as well as divided loyalties. Further, the dissolution of a long-term marriage also extends to the family, affecting grandchildren.
Health implications: Divorce individuals face health issues, which include higher rates of chronic illness, depression and anxiety. The level of stress that is associated with divorce takes a toll on physical health, which makes it important for older adults to seek both medical and psychological support during this time.
Statistical data on grey divorce in the United Kingdom
Grey divorce, as a trend among older adults, has been seen to arise in the UK over the past few years. As per the resource Office of National Statistics, the number of divorces among couples aged 60 and beyond has increased over decades. Between 1991 and 2021, the number of divorces in this age group more than doubled. In the year 2021, approximately 15,000 individuals aged 60 and above got divorced compared to just nearly 6,000 in 1991.
The divorce rate among those aged 55 to 64 also witnessed an increase, reflecting a broader trend among older people. According to the American Psychological Association, in 1990, more than 8.7 per cent of all divorces occurred among adults between the age group 50 and beyond in the United States. In 2019, this percentage hiked by 36 percent.
There is a gender disparity in grey divorce trends. In the United Kingdom, women aged 55 and over are found to initiate divorce than men. A study in 2020 by the International Longevity Centre (UK) found that nearly 62 per cent of divorces among those aged 55 and above were initiated by women. The first move made by women suggests that they are seeking independent and personal fulfilment outside of marriage.
Notable grey divorce in Bollywood, India
Bollywood has been known for its glamorous world of Indian cinema, but people who belonged to this industry witnessed a rise in the trend of grey divorce. One of the most talked-about grey divorces in Bollywood was that of actor Amir Khan and Kiran Rao (director-producer). They departed their ways after being together for 15 years, and they announced their separation in July 2021.
Another couple, including Hrithik Roshan and Sussanne Khan, parted their ways in 2014 after sharing a relationship for 14 years. The other tight couple, Saif Ali Khan and Amrita Singh, ended their marriage after 13 years. These separations are discussed in the context of grey divorce because they were among the early high-profile Bollywood couples to separate after a long-term marriage.
In 2024, a spotlight is noticed between the power couple Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. As of the latest updates in August 2024, rumours about this couple getting a divorce have been circulating widely, largely fueled by misleading online content. In recent times, the couple has been seen travelling separately, particularly seen in Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant’s wedding, adding a reason for the separation. Their rumours are also considered grey divorce.
Despite the speculations going around, the couples are yet to openly comment about getting a divorce. However, 8 years back, Abhishek Bachchan said, “I think you all have blown the entire thing out of proportion, sadly. But I understand why you do it. You all have to file some stories. It’s okay, we’re celebrities, we have to take it. Still married, sorry.”
What do psychologists say about the growing trend of grey divorce?
Psychologists and sociologists have provided insights into the matter of grey divorce. Susan L. Brown, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University and co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, is known to be an expert on grey divorce. Her research highlighted the increasing rise of divorce rates among older adults and the factors that contribute to this trend. These are longer life expectancy, financial independence, and the issue of second marriage.
Likewise, Terri Orbuch, known as The Love Doctor, is a psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan. She was found to conduct long-term studies on marriage and divorce that include the factors that lead to grey divorce. Her work focuses on the importance of emotional fulfilment and how unmet needs in long-term marriages end in separation.
Another sociologist and sexologist, namely Pepper Schwartz, has written on relationships and marriages in the context of ageing. She has examined the changing dynamics of marriage as people live longer, including how the pursuit of personal growth and fulfilment later in life results in grey divorces.
Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist and author, has offered her insights into the emotional and psychological aspects of grey divorce. She has discussed how individuals try to reassess their relationships and lives as they age. In this way, they seek a path to happiness and self-satisfaction, which results in the decision to get a divorce.
